If you’re not up for reading about that today, you should take a pass.
But we think we’d be remiss not to include the dark and very real amongst the wacky and bizarre.
Sometimes a date is so bad you just want to run away screaming.
That’s what these Mumsnet users wanted to do, after revealing their worst date stories on the parenting website.
Aren't you just having the BEST time dating, aka doing something that can be exhausting, awkward, and sometimes soul-crushing?!?
It was all very romantic (that, and the fact that we were watching a film about a horse dying on the battlefield of World War One). Boys may come and go, but the Green Cross Code is forever.
From cheese and onion crisps to velvet purses, some of these will make you want to give up on dating and delete your Tinder profiles forever.
2) ‘I’d never pay for sex, because you never know…’.
Before I could say ‘no, wait until you’re invited’, he said that if he did stay he would have to have a strategic w*nk beforehand as he hadn’t had sex in a while. ’ His mother had died twelve years prior to this 7) We were doing it doggy position but rather than thrusting in and out he kind of just rocked side to side.
I just slowly looked round at him like this 8) ‘I expect to have sex every day’.